Super Smash Bros. Ultimate - Everyone Is Pleased

Christmas Morning, 2008. A young Nate just got his first game console all to himself, the Nintendo Wii, and with it, four games. Wii Sports, Mario Kart Wii, some shitty Star Wars game, and what would become his favorite on that system, Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Okay, so now everyone hates it, and I understand why and I don’t think I’d enjoy it the same way I used to, but I have so much nostalgia for it that it will always be in my heart… and before Ultimate, it had the highest Metacritic score so there.

Flash forward ten years to March of 2018, an older, acne riddled Nate was watching a Nintendo Direct at 11 PM against his mother’s wishes. He was really happy with the announcements of a new WarioWare and a port of Undertale, but then as it ended, he sat in the darkness, saw the inkling swimming, everything went dark, then suddenly, a fire-y Smash symbol revealed itself, and Nate screamed in excitement and jumped for joy. Then his mother burst in and battered him with a slipper.

Flash forward to June, a slightly older Nate struggling with hormones watched all the E3 presentations in anticipation of Nintendo’s offering. It was a bit shit, but then the Smash Bros announcement started. It told Nate that every single character is back, even Pichu, we won’t give you Mother 3 outside of Japan, but you can have Pichu! Nate was even happier and screamed even louder while his mother sat beside him in confusion while looking up nice orphanages.

Then after a few more announcements, the game was released on December 7th, 2018. Nate bought it, and he couldn't have been happier. And lucky for him, his mother loved him too much to send him somewhere else. I’m just kidding, no one wanted him.

That was over half a year ago, and I actually have quite a few different feelings about Ultimate now, so I figured for my first blog post/review, we should talk about one of my all time favorite series.

So, we get an opening. It’s a nice opening. The theme song has lyrics and I will bust this out at karaoke anyday, no matter how many people throw their drinks.

So I headed right into Smash mode and picked my main, Cloud. Not because he’s the best, but because I love Final Fantasy VII. And… it’s Smash Bros. Beat each other up, build up your opponent’s damage to knock them off the screen. It’s easy to learn, hard to master, and I love it. This is the best way to solve a custody battle.

Now, let’s talk about other stuff. Classic mode is back in it’s normal glory. And that’s probably the only mode that I think has truly returned. All-Star has taken the form of a Multi-Man Smash mode, or Mob Smash as it’s known now. So yea, I’m not sure what to say about this. At least Cruel Smash reminds me why no one will ever love me.

There’s a new Adventure Mode, which I was really pleased by. Basically, Nintendo Thanos lasered everyone to death and only Kirby is left, so now he must find the Infinity Stones and save Jurassic Park, normal shite. I’m gonna be honest. I got painfully bored with this mode and I gave up after a few days. It’s not even close to the Subspace Emissary. It doesn’t even have tripping!

But let’s get to one of my favorite parts of any Smash, the trophi- bitch, you for real?

Sakurai said that trophies are really hard to develop, so they are replaced with spirits. Literally just png’s with names and special powers. No interesting descriptions, they really disappoint me. I wish we could’ve gotten trophies but I guess it means Sakurai is in less pain, so I’ll let it slide. The guy has determination to rival anyone in Undertale.

And the online mode has been known to be awful, but really, I don’t see it. I enjoy playing online. I don’t see what’s wrong with it. Maybe it’s because everyone else is better than you.

Overall, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate has some problems I can’t just walk past, but is the game worth your money? Absolutely. It’s probably the biggest fighting game ever. You should be thankful it’s as cheap as it is. If they charged you based on how much content you'll get out of it, you'd be wasting money that could pay for any potential surgeries. But at least you died knowing Pichu is back...

You will have endless amounts of fun in this game. And it’s portable, and it looks amazing portable. Bust it out on the bus, at the cafe, in the middle of a crime scene, where ever. It is definitely my favorite Smash Bros. I just wish there could’ve been more extras. But I still love it to death.

...actually while I’m at it, I really don’t think Waluigi would work. Really think about what unique moveset he could have. Anyway, send your bombs to 1234 Fake Address Street. Goodnight.

Rating: This game rocks!

- Thanks for reading. Have a good one. See ya.

LOOK WHO CAME:

Nate Doktor